While we are staying home through the Covid-19 pandemic, daily life has shifted to focusing on staying healthy and adapting to a new normal. Old routines and all plans have come to a screeching halt. Our calendars have shrunk to this week, or this day - there are too many unknowns beyond that to make plans, and the weight of worry and unpredictability and loss have left me with little motivation to deal with what isn’t right in front of me in this house and on this day.

For nearly five weeks, I have avoided my studio. A dozen paintings in some state of progress, many very nearly done, wait patiently for me to return. But the fear of messing something up when so many things in life are messed up right now, and the energy required to fix a mistake, which is a normal part of painting, seemed too exhausting, too hard. I haven’t had the mental space or energy for painting during this pandemic, but I miss it, and my break to focus my energy on just surviving is ending.

Yesterday I sat down at an easel, squeezed out some paint onto my palette pad, and finished a painting that was in-progress. Done! It was a big victory for me, a little bit of getting my life back to normal.